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(Project) Withdrawal Symptoms

Different withdrawal

I must admit. I think, I am going through withdrawal symptoms. No, not that kind. I am not an alcoholic, and I don’t do drugs. I do drink coffee, but definitely no withdrawal from there! This is a different kind of withdrawal. I think, I just OD’d on work and now I am feeling the project withdrawal symptoms. I did a regular day’s work today, it feels like I am not doing any real work. I get out of the building, while there is some light, it feels like I am leaving too early!

I just finished a project of refactoring one of our websites for performance. It took a lot of long days and nights, incessant reading, writing, thinking. Lot of headaches, anxieties, uncertainties. At times, it looked impossible, insurmountable and the team members expressed concerns, doubts. Even the week we were getting ready, there were issues, bugs, failed tests, network issues. After all, we are in the tax (peak) season already, is this a good time to deploy such a big change? Is it going to happen? Is it worth it? It was like writing/reading a mystery novel at the same time. What is the end? I am writing it, but I am also hoping to read it ahead. Couldn’t stand the suspense no more.

The number of tasks grew and grew, as I picked up slack for team members that went on vacation. Finally, it’s over!! poof! gone! We installed the system Thursday night. No issues!!!!! What? No way! I was looking for issues. But none. It was a good thing, lot of planning and work went into it, yet it felt like a very bland ending of the mystery novel. Phew! No issues! It feels good. But, why does it feel like nothing happened? The rest of the team members haven’t said anything yet. Did the implementation really happen? I look at the beautiful log file created by Log4J smiling at me. The changes actually helped us catch an issue, we otherwise wouldn’t. Yes, we did it!!

Now, I am catching up with the rest of life. I was here, wasn’t I? Calls to be made, photos to share, trips to make, people to catch up with. In the past few months, I would come home late from work, eat and jump right back on the computer, pouring over the source code, popping in and out of forums, go round and round the world wide web, eyes glued to pages of the books and the mountain of pages I printed. Now, it feels like I don’t have anything to do. But, it’s a nice withdrawal! No hangovers, no issues! Work, life balance? My wife thinks, I am back to life!!! Good to be back!

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